an almost eternity
by candycity
Summary: - he supposes he was an idiot to believe that she'd last forever. after all, every love story has its end: theirs just came too soon. natsumikan.


It's a beautiful spring morning, the warmth of the sun filtering through the foliage of the Sakura tree and spilling onto the ground where he lies, eyes closed, in a perfect facade of repose. The distant tolling of the school bell tells him that Math has just ended, and footsteps approach: he tenses, and opens one eye warily. Instead of Persona, it's the new girl, smiling down at him like he's her best friend. His fears alleviated, he shifts back into his image of unconcern.

"Natsume, right?"

"Go away," he says without opening his eyes. The girl just laughs and sits down beside him.

"Sakura Mikan," she introduces herself, and notices the battered manga lying face down next to him. "You like _Attack on Titan_?"

"None of your business."

She rolls her eyes and picks it up, noting the clear plastic cover and carefully printed _Hyuuga Natsume _on the inside of the cover with a small smile. "Who's your favourite character?"

"Go away, new girl," he says without missing a beat. And then, without warning, he reaches out and snatches the manga away. "And don't touch my stuff."

Mikan just smiles. "I'll see you in class, Natsume!" she calls as she gets up and races away.

"Who says I'm going to class?" he mumbles. She laughs.

"Oh, but you will," she says, a hint of mischief in her tone. He finally opens his eyes, and almost immediately his expression softens into one of disbelief.

In her hand is his _Attack on Titan_ manga. _Wait, then -?_

He glances down. He's holding a shojo manga entitled _Let's Fall in Love_, its cover pastel-toned and illustrated with a pair of doe-eyed protagonists gazing at each other with nauseating expressions.

"_Sakura_ -!" he yells after her, "you're so dead, just you wait!"

The only response he gets is the faint ringing of her laughter.

**:.:**

The air is cold.

"You waited!" Natsume mumbles a vague _whatever_ in response as Mikan practically skips up to him, smile blinding as always.

While the rest of the city seems to have slowed down because of the weather, the girl next to him is as hyperactive as ever, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet in barely suppressed excitement.

"Nat-su-_me_," said girl singsongs, interrupting him from his reverie. "What are you thinking about?"

"None of your business, Polka Dot," he says, casually as ever. She frowns.

"You're so cold, Natsume!" she complains. Subconsciously, she wraps her arms around herself, evidently not unaffected by the weather.

Natsume rolls his eyes. "Come on, idiot," he says, and grabs her hand before steering her towards a cafe. "Let's go. I'm thirsty, anyway."

They go into the cafe, and he orders a coffee while she purchases a hot chocolate. He watches as the warmth from her drink manifests itself as a blush on her cheeks, her eyes wide and bright as always, sparkling like stars.

_Enchanting_.

"Natsume, try mine!" she says, and slides it over the table. He rolls his eyes and takes a sip.

When he looks back up, his heart misses a beat. She is smiling at him, honest and open and brilliant, and she is like summer on a cold winter's day.

"Good, isn't it? Doesn't if warm you up?"

"Hn."

"Natsume?" He looks up. "Thanks for waiting for me today."

_Idiot, of course I waited._

Instead of saying anything, he shoves his cup towards her. "You try mine, too," he says, and the smile she gives him in response is warmer than any hot chocolate in the world.

( S_he is beautiful, and she is colourful, and she is larger than life, and he thinks that maybe she could be his forever._ )

**:.:**

"Natsume."

He looks up from his manga and frowns slightly at the sight of the girl, who wears an expression that he can't pinpoint. "Hotaru?"

"Something's wrong with Mikan."

Before he can stop himself, he's standing up, his manga forgotten, his fingers wrapped tightly around the back of his chair. "What do you mean?"

"You know she's been off-colour lately?" Natsume nods: the coughing, the paleness. She'd brushed it off as a cold and, with a careless smile, insisted that it was nothing, really.

"Has she told you anything?"

"No," he says, a strange tightness in his throat. "Why would she? What's going on?"

A faint smile passes over Hotaru's lips. "Well, you are her boyfriend, you know." She lapses into a thoughtful silence, looking uncharacteristically hesitants.

He waits, and after a few seconds, she presses on. "I checked with my brother. She's been visiting the hospital frequently, and he won't tell me why."

"What do you mean?" Natsume demands, his knuckles turning white. "What's wrong with Mikan?"

Hotaru glances down, and then looks him dead in the eye.

And, for the first time since Natsume has met her, she says:

"_I don't know_."

**:.:**

They're under the Sakura tree again, but this time, it's different. She chews on her bottoms lip in anxiety, her brows drawn in conflict.

_Something's wrong with Mikan._

He waits, like he always does.

"Natsume," she says finally, with an uncharacteristic hesitance to her tone, "I need to tell you something."

He doesn't turn to look at her. "What is it?"

"I'm going to Europe. I'm...transferring out of Alice Academy."

"Why?" he asks, simply, and finally shifts his gaze onto her.

"I'm..." she falters, "I can't tell you."

"I know you're sick, Mikan."

That makes her look up in surprise, which almost immediately softens to an almost sheepish resignation. "You would figure it out, huh," she says lightly. He rolls his eyes.

"I know you inside out, Polka Dot," he tells her. "Come back to me, okay?"

She smiles at him, and she is still beautiful, still colourful, still larger than life: he can't imagine her any other way.

( _Cold, dead, six feet under the ground -_- )

"'Course I will, Natsume. Wait for me, won't you?"

Without warning, she leans in to kiss him. Her lips are as soft as ever, but the kiss is unusually gentle, with a tenderness that makes his chest ache, and Natsume thinks it seems almost like a goodbye kiss.

And then she is gone, long hair fluttering behind her like butterflies after a storm, and he is alone, once again.

"I'd wait for you forever, you know."

**:.:**

_Dear Natsume,_

_Happy eighteenth birthday! If you're reading this, I'm not here with you, for whatever reason: but I have a pretty good guess as to why. _

_You probably know by now, but I'm sick. And Natsume, I'm probably not going to get better. It's February now, and I'm leaving next month. If I'm not back by November, well, I don't think I'll be coming back at all. _

_Natsume, there's cancer in my blood. _

_The doctors say that if I have a few months, less than a year, unless they can cure me. And if you're reading this now, well - I guess they couldn't. _

_Do you remember, we were going to have our Last Dance last year, but I caught a cold? Well, I'm kind of glad that happened, now. I wouldn't want to end our eternity together so early. That wouldn't be fair. _

_Be happy without me, Natsume. Fall in love again. You'll be okay, you're strong. Stronger than I ever was. _

_Don't wait for me anymore. _

_Smile, Natsume, okay?_

_Always yours,_

_Mikan_

**:.:**

_"Natsume, right?...I'm Sakura Mikan."_

_"Natsume, thanks for waiting for me today!"_

_"Natsume...wait for me, won't you?"_

_"Smile, Natsume, okay?"_

_"Natsume..."_

_"Natsume -"_

**:.:**

_"Natsume…!"_


End file.
